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Dear Christine, Dressed in Dearborn

| August 13, 2017

Dear Christine,  I’m a straight male, and I like dressing up. I’ve always been into fashion, and my brother and cousin are gay, and I’m an LGBT advocate. Still it bothers me to be called something I’m not: gay. How do I get my classmates, gay and straight, to stop bullying me at school, who assume that I’m gay just because of the way I dress. There’s nothing wrong with being gay, it’s just that I’m not gay! Dressed in Dearborn

Dear Dressed, A few years ago, there was a term used to describe people like you: metrosexual. These are men, often straight, who are extremely well groomed, dress well in the latest style, wear colognes, and they might get highlights in their hair, or get manicures or pedicures. They aren’t rugged, but are clean. A lot of the Hollywood stars are metrosexuals They aren’t a man’s man, or a hipster. They are in the know about the finer things in life. Celebrities get talked about all the time, and people speculate about their sexuality if it isn’t obvious. One example is Kevin Spacey. Rumors have it that he is gay, but when asked by reporters, he doesn’t deny or confirm either way. He has said that for people to assume he is gay hurts no one, and for people to assume he’s straight hurts no one, so he just leaves the topic alone.

There’s no “right” or “wrong” way to be. Just be yourself, whatever and whoever you are. What’s most important is knowing for yourself who you really are. You can request people call you a certain name, or consider you as under a particular label, and if they are your friends, they will respect you and stick to whatever labels you choose. If they are just bullies, saying whatever gets a rise out of you, then try to avoid them, and not give them the reaction they are looking for. We need our straight allies, and hopefully you will be valued for who you are and how you live your life.

Christine C. Cantrell, PhD
1026 W. 11 Mile Rd,
Suite C
Royal Oak, MI 48067

Click here to email Christine.

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Category: Featured Column

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