Dear Christine, Bothered in Berkley

Dear Christine,  I am a 43-year old gay male who has been in a loving, stable, monogamous relationship with my partner for the past 17years. In fact, we celebrated our 15th anniversary with a Holy Union,  performed at our church (MCC). My problem (I should say “our” problem) stems from some of the other males who try to “cop a feel” and on one occasion,
tried to get us to separate. We have tried talking with these people. We have tried public humiliation, and (unfortunately) even a sharp slap across the face (after a rather painful crotch grab). Some of these people STILL refuse to believe that we are a couple who are in love with each other and will be forever. I guess my question is, how can we make these people stop bothering us?

Sincerely, Bothered in Berkley

Dear Bothered,
So are you to hanging out with politicians who say one thing and do another without any shame? Where are you meeting up with these “friends” who refuse to respect your relationship boundaries? I’m hoping it isn’t happening at the MCC Church! Apparently your “friends” do not share your values of commitment to one person, and exclusivity. If that’s the case, perhaps you need some new friends who respect you and your partner, and are willing to live within boundaries that create safe relationships and friendships. This situation sounds frustrating and disrespectful. As Ann Landers used to say, “Only you can allow yourself to be treated like a door mat.” If you don’t like their treatment of you, then leave and make other friends in new places.

Let me know how it goes for you,

Christine C. Cantrell, Ph.D.
Licensed Psychologist
Prism of Possibilities Psychotherapy
3926 Royal Avenue, #A
Berkley, Michigan 48072
[email protected]
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