Dear Christine, I was wondering what to do about this girl that I gave a year and a half of my life too. I met her 1 night at a club and she had a gf at the time but we still danced and it was awesome, it was 1 of those movie moments….you know like time stood still kind of thing. we actually started dating a few months after that, to give a small background she was telling me that her and her gf were no longer together, but they were. they really did break up and we did our thing and then i left for basic training (don’t ask, mistake)we were fine during that time but then things changed, she first slept w/ her ex b/c her ex started seeing someone and she wasn’t comfortable with losing control of her ex then she slept with her ex’s best friend who is a guy, she is currently with this guy, but they don’t see each but like every 6 wks. during all this she was still talking to me like nothing was wrong. her ex and i are really good friends now and she called me to inform me about the guy, and apparently she, meaning my ex, was not even going to tell me about the guy she told her (her ex) that when i got home she was just going to act like nothing happened, but her ex thought that was crappy so she told me. to make a long story longer, i get home and we start right back up like nothing happened…..the whole time she is still talking to the guy but doesn’t tell me and then she tells me that we are getting too close and that I’m better off without her b/c i deserve better, she is probably right but we can’t seem to let each other go….Deserve Better in Bellville
Dear Deserve Better, Sounds like a confusing mix going on. I think your “gf” is right, that you are better off without her, as you do deserve better. She is being cowardly to tell you that way, rather than the truth, whatever that might be. You know some pieces of the truth, that she’s slept with at least 2 people while seeing you, and she’s never said a thing about either one to you. You both are dancing around the truth you both know, pretending it doesn’t exist. What are you holding on to? A fantasy? A movie in your mind? What would happen if you told her you knew about the other two lovers she’s had, and what would you say if she told you everything? Whatever happens, you both would have the truth out, and then there might be a chance of something real happening: a break-up, a friendship, or perhaps something more. Tell the truth, and give each other up. I’m not sure you ever had each other to begin with.
Christine C. Cantrell, PhD
1026 W. 11 Mile Rd,
Royal Oak, MI 48067
248-591-2888Click here to email Christine.