Do I Have Lesbian Repellant? I’m very femme. I couldn’t stop looking girly if I tried and I wouldn’t anyways.. I love my aesthetic of Curled Hair, Pin-Up looks. I have all kinds of “macho” skills but I appear to be a “Straight” gal to other Lesbians. I’ll admit I’m newly Out…. It’s always been nearly impossible to meet women. Even at an all Lesbian event women will ask if I “just broke up with my boyfriend”. Is there some kind of button I should wear? Is Femme really that offensive? I’ve heard that some Lesbians are into it. I would never change this about myself but I’d sure love to learn to Send out the Right Signals. Any suggestions..??
Dear Femme in Franklin
Trust me… Femme is not offensive, nor is it a repellent. Speaking as a Butchly type that appreciates the Femme type. I have also seen and known Femmes that like other Femmes when it comes to *those* kinds of interactions. (the really good kind)
Personally I also think that as women we are sometimes socialized to be more submissive and/or aren’t used to making the first move… and so oftentimes it can be a bit of a waiting game and entirely unproductive and frustrating.
When it comes to sending out the right signals I think a lot of it is about eye contact. Followed by a smile. Be clear and open with any body language. All the things we innately know… yet don’t always practice well.
Other than that I guess it is a little bit about patience. Perhaps the more you are seen out at events and in spaces that are lesbian identified the more people who have been noticing you and wondering might finally build up the courage to approach you.
So for those out there reading this… make the move… don’t make the assumption of straight. Get to it!
Good luck to you,
Christine C. Cantrell, PhD
1026 W. 11 Mile Rd,
Royal Oak, MI 48067
248-591-2888Click here to email Christine.