Dear Christine, My X-partner and i have been living together for about 1 year. I moved into her home 3 months after we met. She is the love of my life and i know that she loves me and she has stated that i am the love of her life as well. Four months ago things started to deteriorate between us. I suspected there was something going on between her and a guy friend from school and i confronted her about it. She flatly and madly denied any allegations. Our relationship was changing however… it was very confusing because throughout all this doubt the love and chemistry was still very much there. She said she was having a hard time with school and so i gave her space and pep-talks when she needed them. Three weeks ago she said she wanted to end it. I was in complete shock. I week later she was kissing the guy from school. Two weeks later i came by to pick-up some of my things (a few days after valentines day) and i found used condoms in our apartment… i also found a love note from him face open on the floor. Hurt in Huntington Woods
Dear Hurt, I hear your deep grief and pain. What a huge loss for you, not just of the relationship, but your home as well. Clearly, you’re going through a difficult time, and I hope you give yourself the space to grieve and take good care of yourself. Talk to your friends, do things that you enjoy, let yourself cry, or get angry. Write about your feelings, but preferably not on a public blog or Facebook! Letting the raw feelings out in a private place is important, so your feelings are safe, without the fear of someone else reading them, misunderstanding them, or taking them too literally. Sometimes couples get back together, and if you have vented your spleen publicly, your friends, in loyalty to you, may not be accepting of your reconciliation, should that occur. If you have lost trust in your ex, they are being protective of you, and it’s hard for them to understand why you might return to that relationship or friendship.
Christine C. Cantrell, PhD
1026 W. 11 Mile Rd,
Royal Oak, MI 48067
248-591-2888Click here to email Christine.